Toxic friendships…. Friend or Foe?

In life we encounter a wide range of social opportunities. Some great while some are not so great.

If you are anything like me you like to socialize. But may not always be the brightest bulb in the room. Lets take it back quite a few years, as a kid in elementary school I was super confident. Talked to everyone, friends with everyone. Some where in middle school I got quiet. Friendly, but didn’t reach out as much. Then came high school and again friends with many but stuck to a core ‘click’. Then came graduation and  friends sometimes drift. You go different routes, college or whatever. For me it was starting my family right away, immediately put me in this awkward place. I still stayed in touch but after some years it’s faded.  When  I first started having kids I was 20. Everyone I knew was not starting that stage of life but pursuing other adventures.  Then social media went crazy, in a good way,  and allowed us to search and reconnect with those we lost touch with.

Then enters this, you start off on one of these foots:  

-right where you left off, like no time has passed

-catch up on everything! And then just “like” each others posts from there on out.

-You realize it was a good thing you lost touch and try to hide them from your page.

                         –How will you mix new friendships with old ones? 

Fast forward back to today. I am back to my elementary self. Social butterfly, who wears her heart on her sleeve. So much is happening around the world, many mixed emotions and views.  Almost ,makes you wish social media wasn’t a thing.  I have been losing sleep over how my friendships are being affected.  However this morning I have come to a realization.

If a friendship can not withstand a little disagreement, diversity and honesty then it is not a friendship worth stressing. It is time to let it go and move on.

It may not have been a friendship at all. It may have been another person with an alteritve motive from and was not a true friendship. It could have been toxic from the beginning.   For those that know me, know I am as honest as they come. The good and the bad. I will tell you like it is, I will confront you if you talk behind my back, I will speak up on my view of things as I see them. I will go to bat for my friends and admit when I am in the wrong. Even at the age of 32 I am still learning how to navigate social situations. Trying to figure out who is real and who isn’t. Even in the past year I have been burned more than once. My realization this week is you never know. You really never know who you can trust and who is being real with you. I am going to take all that has been happening and stay true to me. If a friendship is worth keeping it will make it through. If not then take it for what it was and move on. Life is too short to be surrounded by toxic relationships. Too short to have to defend yourself. Don’t let it drain your positive energy and keep you up at night. Like I won’t let it do to me anymore. Those worth keeping will still be there. Those true friendships won’t make you feel like you are less than them or talk about you. At this age we don’t have time for that. Put your energy into what will make you happy and join me in getting some much needed treasured sleep!

Know that God placed these people in your life for a purpose. Their timeframe in your story is never known, just focus on the good and learn from each one. 

 

 

 

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